By the time Friday rolled around, I was literally on auto-pilot, simply going through the motions and doing what needed to be done and when I finally got home at 9:30 that night, I couldn't even find the words to explain the day to Peter. Even on Saturday, when I had a whole day at home by myself (Peter was roofing with a friend), I was still mentally tired.
I think the most frustrating part of it, is that I don't even like the actual work. I have been in positions where the stress level was high and I had a lot on my plate, but it still didn't tire me out like this does. I feel like I'm going on high from the time I get to work to the moment I leave, and it never stops. I'm never in a position where I feel like I've got some control of the situation or where I'm even 75% comfortable with what I'm doing.
It's been eight months since I started this job. I've tried not to give too many details about where I work or what I do because the job itself really isn't what's important, it's all about the lessons I've been learning. For example, last week I discovered I could do more than I realized. I could go faster, work harder, and handle more pressure than I previously thought. In some ways, it was like going through TMI (Teen Missions International) Boot Camp all over again. It pushed me past my own invisible limits.
Maybe someday, when I'm no longer working there (oh please, oh please!), I'll tell you what I did. Until then, I'm taking it one day at a time. Shoot, there were days last week where I actually prayed, "Lord, help me get through the next four hours until I leave for lunch/for the day." And being the faithful Father that He is, He helped me do just that.
I'm clinging to this promise as a new week starts.
Have a good one!