9.18.2012

Free to Be Me

Why do I write? No one comments. Why do I tweet? No one answers. Why do I post? No one shares. I believe these would fall under the "First World Problems" heading, wouldn't you? Yet discouragement comes when we least expect it. Just when I thought I had conquered the jealous, green-eyed monster, she reared her ugly head last week. It wasn't pretty at all.

Why does she get so many likes and I get so few? How come her post gets eighty-seven comments and the post that I poured my heart into gets twenty-seven views and no comments? What is it about this [insert: friend, acquaintance, co-worker, total stranger, etc.] that causes other people to sing their praises, while my [insert: pictures, blog post, tweets, hard work, etc.] go unnoticed? Oh yes, my friends, it was ugly. U.G.L.Y.

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Once you let that me monster start to take over, your mind goes a little crazy. I was all over the place - maybe they don't like me, maybe my work isn't good enough, maybe they've found someone else, maybe I should give it all up. I told  you it was UGLY. But it didn't stay that way. I quickly re-attached the caboose to the back of the train and headed on my merry way. I'm me, and I'm thankful to be me. I wouldn't want to be him, or her, or even you - as nice as I'm sure you are. To paraphrase Bob the Tomato...God made you/me special, and He loves you/me very much.

I think women have a tendency to be easily get sucked into the if only game. If only I were more like her, if only I could write better, if only I got the breaks that she gets, if only I had her hair! Well folks, I refuse to play. What about you?

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Now it's YOUR turn! 
Tell me five things that you like about yourself...go!

25 comments:

  1. Carrie, comparison is such a hard struggle. Thank you for sharing it here -- and thank you for being wonderful you! You are enough!

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  2. I'm a new reader here, and a pretty young blogger (just over a year now), and this post resonated with me this morning. I rarely get comments from anyone beyond my own parents, and sometimes when I write something that I think is SO GOOD, because I poured my heart into, gets the least amount of attention. I follow several blogs, including this one now, and am amazed at how many followers (comments, likes, shares, etc) they get.

    Thanks for letting me know that I'm not the only one to feel like this, and for encouraging me to just be myself, and let that come through in my blog - whether anyone reads it or not. I'll go re-attach the caboose to where it belongs now.

    Thank you very much for sharing; I love reading your blog since I discovered it, and have been encouraged greatly. You're one of my morning reads!

    xx
    Erin
    http://josh-and-erin.blogspot.com/

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    1. Hey, Erin, don't get discouraged. The blogosphere is a big place. Just gotta find your tribe and let them find you. Keep at it. The best way to fail is to give up. Best of luck!

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    2. Erin, the best advice I was given when I was finding my way in the blogosphere is to find or start a "mastermind" group - other bloggers of varying sizes who will share/promote your posts, encourage each other, and offer suggestions or advice about bloggy-stuff. It makes a world of difference.

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    3. Thank you for the encouragement, and the reminder that giving up is the best way to fail! You guys are great! :)

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    4. Thanks, Erin! I know exactly how that feels - pouring your heart out into a post, only to hear the crickets chirping in the comments section. Looking forward to checking out your blog after I finish replying to comments! :)

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  3. I read every post...I'm just terrible about commenting. I'm glad you're allowing God's grace to be sufficient. It's so easy to get bogged down in the details. To be honest about a year ago I stopped checking my stats all together, there was literally no benefit and a tremendous amount of draw back. When I did well it swelled me with pride, when I didn't do well I got crushed with envy and despair.

    5 Things I like about myself, I can curl my tongue into a 3 leaf clover shape (it really grosses people out), I like to dance and I don't (usually) care who is watching, I can make my mom laugh her real laugh, God keeps working on me every day so I can look back a few years and see the change, and I can feel friendship through a blog, across a state, having never met in person. Thanks for being a part of my community.

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    1. Hey Lexi! I haven't checked stats in a while either, but with the changes in blogger, you can now see the stats when you go to the posting page, so it's a bit harder to ignore. I'm trying! :)

      Love your 5 things - I can do that tongue thing too, and yes, it DOES gross people out! :) I'm so glad that you and your skilz are part of my online community!

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  4. Great way to start the day!

    Five things I like about me: 1) my kid really likes me, 2) I actually KNOW football; 3) I'm a great public speaker; 4) I am very ambitious; 5) I have a terrific vocabulary

    Thanks for the reminder!

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    1. Awesome! Thanks for sharing!! I'm envious of your public speaking skills - I HATE getting up in front of people (which, when we were missionaries, I had to do all the time because my husband hates it more than I do - yikes!).

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    2. Hey, I linked to this in my post on overcoming the down side of achievement. Hope you won't mind I "borrowed" your Like Myself list.

      http://lifeonclemsonroad.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-down-side-to-achievement-part-ii.html

      Thanks for the inspiration!

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  5. It can be frustrating. But then I remind myself that i blog for a hobby. Nothing more, nothing less. A while ago, I felt pressure to post everyday, and my content suffered. Now I only post when I have something to say, and I am a much happier blogger for doing so.

    Five things I like about myself... (1) I am funny. (2) I can cook really well. (3) I like to think that I am handy/crafty. (4) I am a great public speaker. (5) I am a good mother.

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    1. Oh Karen - I try to keep the "hobby" thing in mind, and I'm settling in around the fact that I'll never be a mega blogger. I'm learning to be satisfied with making a difference in my tiny Internet space. :)

      Love your five things! Thanks for sharing!

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  6. Carrie, I like you the way you (and your blog) the way you are! Don't ever lose that goofy love of pumpkins!

    5 things I like about myself (that I'm sometimes insecure about too): I can usually sense when people need encouragement, God seems pleased to use my written words to build others up, I love to laugh!, I am a good listener, and I'm always ready to make a new friend.

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    1. Elizabeth, it has been a joy getting to know you in the last few months. Your blog IS a place of encouragement, and I encourage YOU to keep up the good work! Love your 5!

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  7. So in the process of sending you this comment to let you know that I read most, if not all of your posts, I was thinking about my list of five when I glanced up from the comment box and saw Karen. Wow! I wish I could write what Karen wrote for MY five things!!! OK. Focus. It's not about comparing myself to others! LOL! How easy it is to wish for what we don't have! So here's mine: 1. I can sing (on key) in my kitchen where there is a slight echo and this makes me so happy! 2. I have two beautiful healthy children (well, the broken arm IS healing) 3. my hubby gets me anything I want (as long as it is electronic or contains a motor) 4. That comment from a friend that my house looks like pottery barn. 5. I am a PRO at scrap booking. Have a GREAT day, Carrie, and keep posting!

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    1. Diana - #3 made me snort. I'll never forget the Christmas that Peter showed up with this huge box. I was SO excited...couldn't imagine what he got for me! I ripped off the wrapping paper and found...a new subwoofer. He was grinning while I ask him what in the WORLD he was thinking?? He told me that I didn't KNOW I wanted it, but I did because it would make movies sound so much better. It took me, oh 5 years or so, but eventually I admitted that it DID make the movies sound better. However, he knows he had better not try that again. ;-)

      For the record: love #4!! That would make me do the {happy dance}. :)

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  8. @ Diana Barrick - I wish I could sing. I play a variety of instruments and have passion for music. But my voice sounds worse than a cat in heat. :)

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  9. I love all your posts, too. I don't comment very often on ANYONE's posts, so don't take it personally if I don't comment on yours :-) I also enjoy getting comments on my blog, the few times I've been able to post in the past 9 months! One thing that I really appreciate when I comment on someone's blog is when they reply to my comment. As much as I can, I try to reply to those that comment on my blog. And not just a reply to the blog itself - I really appreciate the replies that come straight to my e-mail so that I don't have to keep checking the blog post to see if anyone's responded or not. Just a thought from an infrequent blog commenter :-)

    Now, for those 5 things... I think I'm a pretty good friend, I'm a great baker, I make beautiful knitted items, I have 2 wonderful girls who love me (even if sometimes they say they don't!), and I love my curly hair. :-)

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    1. You know, Sarah, I tried using Disqus for comments for about two months, but in the end, I didn't like it, so I went back to blogger comments. I'm happy that I can reply directly under the comments now, but I know what you mean about getting the replies directly to your email (as you would, I believe, with Disqus). Sadly, I think the blogger comments are here to stay - they are about my technical speed. ;-)

      Love your 5, and YES, you DO make beautiful knitted items! I need to pull my knitting out again, but I never did move past the scarf and hat stage. ;-)

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    2. Yeah, comments on blogs are tricky to keep track of :-) Thanks for your reply!!!

      About the knitting... if you really are interested and would like to do more, I would suggest you check out Ravelry if you haven't already. It is a wonderful resource for looking up patterns, learning new techniques, etc. :-)

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    3. I have a Ravelry account...in fact, I think we're friends on there, but I haven't checked it in over a year. Which is probably the last time I picked up any knitting too! I found a couple of great wash cloth holiday patterns on Ravelry, so if life ever slows down, maybe I'll try one of those again. :)

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  10. I'm way too British to be able to list five things I like about myself :=). But I do read all of (well, most of!) your blog posts, courtesy of feedmyinbox.com.

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  11. Thanks for this post. I found your blog via a comment you left at Small Notebook. I love blogging, but sometimes get caught up in the comparison game. Thanks for helping me to keep things in perspective.

    What do I like about myself? I am a good writer/editor. I love my job (missionary). I'm good at "making do". I have a good sense of humor. I'm a faithful friend.

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There are more than 400,000 words in the English language. My only request of you is this: Use them wisely.

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