It's easy for life to get out of control. Sometimes, we don't even realize we're spinning until right before we hit the rocks. Let's face it, if you don't prioritize,
there will always be something else to fill the time.
I recently recognized that I've gotten slack on setting boundaries. This is a new experience for me, and one that has come about as a result of being a self-employed contractor.
As the opportunities for work increased, I found myself staring at a computer screen while Peter prepared dinner. I felt guilty if I took time to read or "close up shop" early. I stopped blogging. Why write for myself when I could write for someone else and get paid for it?
It's my own fault. I blame no one but me. I said yes to every request. I volunteered to help. I focused on what the paychecks could help us pay off. I was excited and stimulated by doing work that used my skills.
And then one day, I realized I had said "yes" one too many times. I was, in essence, writing a check I wasn't sure I wanted to cash. I still love my work, and I love the opportunities that I have said yes to, but in a flash, I understood that life was about finding a balance. As a client wisely advised...
Work is just a part of our larger lives.
Fortunately, this moment of clarity hit me long before I saw the rocks, and here's what I've discovered:
- Working from home has it's downsides. There's no set end time for work. And there's always something more that
needs to could be done.
- If I don't set limits and perimeters, someone (or something) else will. If I say yes to every job opportunity, I will soon lose the flexibility that comes from being self-employed and working from home.
- If I don't make time for the things I enjoy doing - be it blogging or reading or hanging with the hubby - I won't find that time. Time is a precious commodity, and I want to use it wisely.
- My work is better, my attitude is better, and my day is better if I make room in the schedule for "fun" breaks. Read a chapter in a book. Say yes to impromptu lunch dates. Watch a British TV show.
- Work will always be there - but loved ones will not. Spending time with family, unplugging when my husband is home, making sure my focus is on what matters for eternity - those are my top priorities.
There are, of course, times when the unexpected happens and it's all hands on deck -
and I'm happy to help. But in order to be ready for the emergencies, I'm learning to set boundaries when all is going as planned.
And so, earlier this month,
I said NO. I turned down opportunities for additional work, and I felt relief. I realized that there
can be an end to the work day - as a contractor, it ends when I stop saying "yes." By saying no, I believe my standards go up, my work improves, and I'm ready to take on new challenges -
just fewer of them.
Do you work for yourself? How have you set boundaries?
Have you experienced the power of saying NO?