I stopped last time because I needed to give you some background information that made my prayer scary and allowed Ravi Zacharias to impact me in such a major way. Well, here is the information...but shoot, every time I try to write it I realize there is even more information you need...so here's the "quick" version. :-)
"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." - Jim Elliot
"Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever." - Betty Scott Stam.
I didn't know where all that would take me, but I was willing to follow...and what an adventure it was, has been, and continues to be!
Which brings us back to Ravi Zacharias and the "scary prayer" that I mentioned in part 4. Whew! We finally made it back to that! A few days after Peter had "the talk" with my dad, my mom asked me to listen to a tape that she had just received because she was thinking about sharing it with the staff at the summer camp. As I sat on the couch listening to Ravi Zacharias talk about Isaac and Rebekah, the Lord opened my ears and my heart to actually hear what Ravi was saying. The taped talk, I, Isaac, Take You Rebekah, changed my life forever. Ravi talked about Rebekah's open heart and willingness to travel (on camel!) to meet and marry a man she didn't know, simply because she trusted and obeyed the Lord. Ravi said many wise things on that tape, but the saying that struck me the hardest was actually a quote from Ravi's brother when Ravi asked him how he could go back to India for an arranged marriage: Love is as much an act of the will as it is an emotion. And if you will to love someone, you can. I was struck by that thought. Who says that love must be a mushy gushy gut-wrenching feeling? Our culture does. Who says that love must be brought on by physical attraction and demand hours of eye-gazing and primping and date nights? Again, that's our culture. How many times have you heard someone explain away a divorce by saying, "I just don't love them anymore. The feeling is gone." Even the Righteous Brothers sing about how "you've lost that loving feeling", but love is so much more than a feeling!
That night I went up to my bedroom in a very pensive mood. I spent time reading my Bible and asking God to give me clarity about the future...and in the midst of reading and praying (and whining - "Lord, WHY do I have to go through this now? I'm too young to be dealing with this!"), I suddenly felt the need to commit it all to the Lord...again. And I was scared to death at what I felt the Lord was asking me to pray...
"Father, You already know what my future looks like. You know who I will marry or if I will marry. You have brought Peter into my life and he has all of the characteristics of what I would want in a Godly husband. He even has a similar sense of humor and keeps me laughing, and best of all, he is my friend. So Lord, if he is the man that You have chosen for me, than help me to learn how to love him. I am willing to love him if that is Your will for my life. I chose to trust and follow You. Amen."
To Be Continued...