Celebrating the Unique

INTJ (Introversion, iNtuition, Thinking, Judgement) is an abbreviation used in the publications of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to refer to one of the 16 psychological types. 
People with the INTJ personality type are imaginative yet decisive, ambitious yet private, amazingly curious, but they do not squander their energy. Possessing intellect and strategic thinking that allow them to overcome many challenging obstacles, INTJs have the ability to both develop and implement a plan for everything, including their own personal growth. {via 16Personalities.com}
That's a small section of insight into what I (and the Hubs) are like as individuals - apart from our faith in Christ, and our desire to die to self and be formed more to His image. But God also created us as unique beings, with specific gifts, talents, abilities, and personality traits that have helped us survive and thrive in difficult and varied situations throughout our individual lives, and during our 16 years of marriage.

It was this very uniqueness which gave us a calm assurance that God had specifically equipped us to take on a situation (adopting 5 children at once) that others thought insane. We labor under no delusion that it will be easy, or that we will always respond well to the outcome of turning our lives upside down in obedience to God's calling. We are not going through the adoption process to fulfill a personal need, or for the praise of men or the gratitude of children, but because He has led us here.

Although we have been in this process for over 3.5 years now, the reason we didn't tell many people about it until earlier this year was because we were not mentally ready to deal with the influx of unsolicited advice that we knew would flow our way. And, just as we anticipated, it has.

"I have a friend who adopted..."
"There's this book you HAVE to read..."
"You should really consider..."

Believe me, we've heard it all. And each time it happens, I attempt to smile and bite my tongue, trying to believe that most of the people mean well (which, as an INTJ, is not a belief that comes naturally for me). What most of them don't know is that we've spent the last 3.5 years researching and counting the cost of this God-orchestrated story. 

We've talked to those who have adopted, listened to those who have done more than us, researched the best educational methods for children who are adjusting to a new environment and language, and studied the cultural norms and taboos of their home country. Despite assumptions to the contrary, our registry items were selected with care, toys were chosen with purpose, and school curriculum based on the needs of our children and the skills of their teachers (a.k.a. us). In short, if it's a part of the process, we've probably hit it. 

This doesn't stop people from giving their two cents (which even I confess to doing on occasion), but whether you've written me off as an insufferable know-it-all by now or you're still hanging around to see where this is going, here's the thing I want you to take away today...
Every adoption story is as unique as the adults preparing for it, and the child(ren) facing it. Every life story is as different as the individual living it. And the so-called experts may not, in fact, always know best.  
I am not you. You are not me. Relax... and let God write His beautifully unique stories in your life, and in mine. 


  1. Love this Carrie, we have fostered for the past 2 plus years and we have bitten our tongues frequently! We are praying for you guys and your little ones.

    1. Love to see your name pop up, Laura! :) Thanks for your empathy and your prayers - we need both. :)


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