The Hardest Word

Can you guess what it is? It's just two letters. In fact, they're even next to each other in the alphabet. That's right, it's NO. Just a small little thing, but it has the power to change things if we would be willing to use it. 

This week I had to pull it out of mothballs when a project I really wanted to be a part of just didn't fit my current season of life. I'd been putting off pulling the plug on it because I just knew that if I rearranged this and moved that around, I could find the time to make it happen. I could shoehorn it into my life. But the more I tried to do it, the more I thought about it, and the longer it hung over my head, the more I knew what I had to do. 

And so I wrote the email and as soon as it was sent, I felt a weight lift. I'd known all along that I didn't have time to do it, but I so wanted it to work out, that I was willing to go on and on, trying to make it happen. But here's a lesson I've learned...don't force things. If it's meant to be, then it's going to fall into place without the aid of a hammer and chisel.

Photo by Kai Pilger on Unsplash

No. It's such a simple word, that wields so much power. What if more parents said it to their kids? I wonder if I would look around and sigh quite as much as I do now, or shake my head over the state of the world. What if we said it more often when advertising agencies told us what gimmick would make our life easier? What if we used it when tempted by all the things that we think will make us happier, but never do? What if we said it to toxic situations/people or to unhealthy habits? 

Or what if we said it, as I did this week, to opportunities that look good. In fact, really seem like something we'd enjoy doing, but the timing is all wrong, and they end up adding more stress instead of being enjoyable? I didn't want to write and send that email, but the (almost immediate) response I receive confirmed that I had, in fact, made the right call to use my little word. And all week, ever since I said it, I've felt freedom. The freedom to say NO to good things can be as freeing, sometimes more so, than saying it to things that we know are bad for us. It feels like freedom and power and progress.

I can say no to good things if they are good things but bad timing. What about you? What was the last thing that you said "no" to and felt good about once it was done? Don't be afraid to use this tiny powerhouse. 

Inches, Pounds, and Ahas!

After 31 days of no sugar, no fake sweeteners, and low starches, I stepped on the scale and saw that I was down 7 lbs. from where I started on January 1st. Each week I measured my chest, waist, hips, and thighs, and after a month of cutting out sweets and curbing the snack attacks, the loss of a few inches and half inches were making themselves felt in the fit of my clothes. And while it's nice to see those kinds of results, other, unexpected lessons crept up during the month that made the most significant impact. 

Lessons like...

• Realizing that I was addicted to sugar and didn't see it.
• Recognizing that I turned to sugary coffee drinks for comfort on bad days.
• I used food as a reward for hard days or other "sacrifices" I had made.
• When I felt frustrated with life, I replaced going to God with going to Starbucks.
• For someone who prides herself on being very self-aware, I snacked mindlessly.
• Since I was trying to buy less stuff...I made up for it by buying more food.
• Worst of all, I taught my kids that "treats" should be a regular occurrence.

Bottom line: food, specifically sugar, had become an idol. I worshipped the temporary "high" that a stop at Starbucks would give me. I bowed at the altar of donuts.

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

With the revelations of January fresh before me, I made the conscious decision to extend the lifestyle changes another month, and potentially longer. Not only was I seeing the physical benefits of the choices I was making in what and when I ate, but I also felt better than I had in months, if not years. The unexpected discoveries of the hold that sugar had on me just added to my desire to continue down this path and see where it led. 

Although at first, I missed my Starbucks stops and late-night binge snacking, I found that I much preferred the feeling of being satisfied with less. It was equally, if not more addicting than the temporary sugar rush that accompanied eating a doughnut the size of my face or downing a large Diet Coke. I became aware of the number of times I unconsciously associated going somewhere with picking up a treat. Drop the kids off at taekwondo, stop and get a coffee. Run errands on Saturday morning and bring home a Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit for the Hubs and me.

Treat, when used as a noun, is defined as: an event or item that is out of the ordinary and gives great pleasure. But when the event or item is no longer out of the ordinary, can it still be called a treat? When a doughnut truck came every week to a local parking lot, and I started stopping more and more often...was it still a treat? Or had my kids (and I) come to expect it? 

Several years ago, when the Hubs and I were laser-focused on paying off our first mortgage, we only allowed ourselves to go out to eat once a month. After money was less of an issue for us, going out stopped being a treat and became routine. "Do you feel like cooking tonight? No? Me neither. Let's go out." 

Last month I was reminded of that austere time in our lives as I once again began to deny myself the "treats" that had become expected and regular. In fact, I found that it became easier to tell myself "no" the longer I did it. Why? Because I wanted the rush of actual treats. Something that truly was out of the ordinary. Something that was unexpected, rather than something that was commonplace. 

I've told myself that I can now have one treat from Starbucks every month, using the gift cards I received for Christmas and my birthday. But instead of rushing towards the drive-thru on February 1st, I discovered there is even more joy in waiting. In fact, as I type this, with the end of the month rushing towards me, I have yet to go. 

The surprise "Aha!" of the last two months has been that the discipline of being more mindful of what I eat, what I spend my money on, and how I prioritize my time has made me want more. 

• More of the feeling of accomplishment when my waistband isn't digging into my stomach. 
• More of the sense of freedom that comes from paying cash at the grocery store and sticking to the budget. 
• More guilt-free time to spend reading for pleasure because my work isn't hanging over my head, and dinner is in the Crock-Pot. 
• More of Jesus, less of me. 

Idols don't always take the form we might think...sometimes they are shaped like bite-sized sugar bombs and time-sucking YouTube videos. Sneaky little things... So I'll close this with a question for you to ponder: What idols are ensconced in your life? If you take time to think about this and be honest, you might find yourself to be just surprised as I was. 

The Grace of Small Victories

I started writing a blog post last week entitled, "Stuck." Because that was how I was feeling. Very, very stuck. Stuck in this weight loss journey, stuck in what I was eating, stuck in the habits I was trying to develop and cultivate. I wasn't ready to give up, but I was discouraged and tired of feeling like I was getting nowhere fast. 

And then I did my Saturday weigh-in and was utterly surprised when I was down another 2 lbs. I measured all the parts I've been measuring and had dropped between 1/4 and 1/2" of an inch on three of the four (my thighs, I am sorry to say, have decided to put up a fight, but this is a marathon, not a sprint, so we'll see who wins in the end). And suddenly I didn't feel as stuck anymore. 

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

Pondering this mental switch, I began to reflect on the fact that one tiny little positive change, one little step of encouragement in the right direction, really does wonders for your perspective. Instead of feeling like denying fleshly cravings and losing sugar wasn't worth my time, I suddenly felt like what I was doing was worth it. It made it easier to say no, easier to reach for the water bottle rather than the coffee pot, and easier to enjoy the freshly ground peanut butter on one slice of the Keto bread. 

Telling myself "no" to a few little things that I had been, unwittingly, using as comforts suddenly felt worth it in order to reach a bigger goal of feeling healthier and liking what I saw in the mirror a little bit more. It was a small victory step that surprised me in its weightiness. Mentally, it was the boost I needed to keep going and not give up. 

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There are all sorts of things that we give up on in life. Challenges to read a certain number of books. Goals to walk a set number of steps. Plans to visit new places, see new things, and try new foods. Or even the intention to forgive past wrongs, break bad habits, or avoid making the same mistakes over and over again. 

We start out strong - we read the first book, we walk the first week, we download the Airbnb app, and we make a list of new restaurants to try. We have every intention of forgiving that person we've been holding a grudge against...until we see them. We make it a day or two without spending money we don't have on stuff we don't need. We stand firm in our resolve...until it's been a long day, a bad week, or a hard month. And then we allow the negatives to overwhelm the positives. 

When it's been several days of not making time to read, it's easy to just throw in the towel and say, "Oh well, I might as well not even try at all," and then pick up your phone and start scrolling through your favorite social app. 

After feeling like you've denied yourself of everything you wanted for a week and then the scale says, "Nothing's changed. Nice try. Thanks for playing," it's not surprising when we shout, "Why even try?!" and wheel into the local coffee shop for a high calorie beverage or stop for doughnuts. 

Or when you extend the hand of love and friendship to someone and get kicked in the pants for your troubles, or get burned again when you lower your guard, daring to hope that this time something will be different, it's not surprising that most of us say, "I knew it," and shut the door to ever trying something like that again. 

So what do we do? Do we give up? Do we cave and then kick ourselves a little bit more when the scale moves up, when the bank account is at $0 but our closets are full of cloths we don't wear, when nothing at all changes and this year begins to look exactly like last year? No. That's when it's time to look for the positives.

Small steps, sometimes so infinitesimal that they'd be hard to see without a magnifying glass, are the small victories that help keep us going. If I was only focused on the numbers on my scale, I would probably have given up by now. But because a friend suggested that I also measure inches (which I've never done before), I knew that even though it felt like nothing had changed, things actually were happening. You wouldn't believe how excited I got when I was down a measly quarter of an inch. But, on the small victory side, I wasn't up a quarter of an inch! 

And when that person disappoints you again, when they fail to show up or they break their own resolutions, instead of shutting down, why not do a little self-reflection? What failures would you like people to judge you by? My guess is...none. Rather than judging the parent/friend/child/sibling/co-worker by their failures to live up to their own expectations, let alone yours, why not consider extending grace to them? You might be surprised. It could be just the boost of encouragement they need to pick up their pieces and try again. Don't blow them out of the water. Give them a small victory. 

The 30-Minute Difference

Towards the end of 2023, I wrote a post about making your own time. It was an idea I was still trying to formulate in my own head, but I finally put some of those thoughts into practice this month and have been pleasantly surprised by the results. 

Photo by Lukas Blazek on Unsplash

After becoming increasingly frustrated with our homeschool schedule, I started making plans for how things could be different in the new year. A new schedule meant organizing my time a little differently. As I looked at where our time had been going, I realized I just needed a little more space in the day to get it all done. 

Since I couldn't pull any more time from the afternoons/evenings, which is my freelance work time, I had to look to the morning. On a whim, I decided to try getting us all up and moving 30 minutes earlier. The results, so far, have been overwhelmingly positive. 

Instead of always running late, I'm now the first one in the schoolroom, and usually have a few minutes to myself to get things settled - things like lighting the candle on my desk and filing away papers that were handed in the previous day - before the kids come in. Not having a frazzled teacher does wonders for the learning environment, let me tell you!

In addition to adding 30 minutes to the morning routine, I also started aiming to remove 30 minutes from the nighttime routine. I knew it was possible because I knew that my working hours weren't always the most focused of the day. And while I naturally gravitate toward being a night owl, if this was going to work, I knew I still needed to try to get a good 7-8 hours of sleep. 

By just switching the schedule up by 30 minutes, I have found our school days to be far more productive. Giving myself dedicated evening working hours has allowed me to be more focused with my time and attention, and has even given me the margin to do things like write this blog post, or read a chapter or two in one of the books on my nightstand.

I'm still tweaking different aspects of this habit-in-the-making, but I like what I see so far. It might not seem like 30 minutes would make that much of a difference, but then again, you might be surprised. Give it a try and let me know how it turns out. 

In the meantime, if you'll excuse me, I need to get this post scheduled and knock out a couple more projects before logging off and snuggling down into bed with my latest read (in case you're curious, it's The Nineties by Chuck Klosterman - a Christmas gift from the Hubs) before the Sandman wins the battle for sleep.

The Sugar Fast: Week #1 Update

This is not an exciting, thoughtful post, but it is an update about one of my "small victory" goals for the month. So if you're not interested in cutting out sugar or hearing about what I'm substituting for it...I totally understand and hope you'll come back later when I write about something a little more interesting. In the meantime, this is for posterity's sake.

As I'm typing this, I'm one week into my sugar fast for January. Not only have I cut out all candy and sweets, but I've been pretty strict about staying away from foods that are high in sugar, and foods that turn into sugar later on (think white rice, white potatoes, and white bread). The first two days were brutal. 

I would not have considered myself a sugar fiend, but on day one, I swear...I could have eaten an entire bag of Reese's peanut butter cups in one sitting. The no-sugar headache lasted two days, before finally wearing off. And when the sugar urges slowed down, the carb urges began. Bread, pasta, potatochips...I would have killed for any or all of them, and not in moderation. 

It's entirely possible that one day this week, I looked at my family and pointed to the loaf of homemade bread that I had served up for dinner (piping hot, with butter) and said, "When this is over, I'm making a loaf and eating the whole thing. By myself." So it appears that I still need some work in the self-dicipline area.

This image is the personal property of CG Koens and may not be used without written permission

But while we were off to a rough start, here's the good news. One week into this, I'm down 5 lbs, or, as my weightloss app so kindly phrased it, I've lost the weight of a table lamp. I'm not sure how that's supposed to make me feel better, but as one friend so aptly quipped, "I guess it means you're lighter." {Insert Groan Here} 

Something else I'm tracking this time, which I haven't done before, is inches. On January 1st, I weighed and then measured my bust, waist, hips, and thighs (or rather, just one). When I checked these again after one week, I had lost 1.5" from my waist, .25" from my hips, and .5" from my bust measurements. The thighs are holding out on me, but I'm very, very cautiously optimistic. 

For the most part I have continued to cook normal meals for the family, I am just selective about what I eat from them. For example, while they chowed down on the loaf of bread with the beef stew that I made, I allowed myself one half of a smaller slice of the bread, and focused on eating the protein-rich stew. While they eat leftovers for lunch each day, I put a small amount of my freshly ground peanut butter from The Fresh Market on a slice of Keto-friendly wheat bread from Aldi, or low sodium rice cake from Kroger, and then add a few bites of cheese and a few bites of salami. 

In addition to cutting out sugar, I've also focused on cutting out the sugar substitutes. So even though Diet Coke has no sugar, it still has aspartame, and I've got some serious doubts about how good all of that is for us. So, this means that I'm drinking water like it's going out of style, and the first thing I do each morning is fill up my 40 oz. water bottle. I also allowed a little bit of our grocery budget to go to Bubly drinks, which are basically soda water with flavoring and nothing more. It allows me to have a treat drink when I get really sick of water. 

And finally, since I'm cutting out all the good stuff, it means that I've also cut out the stops at Starbucks this month. Yes, of course I could drink black coffee. But I hate black coffee. So I'm just putting that on hold until I ease back in next month - I'm thinking one treat drink a month. In the meantime, I've switched to hot tea, my favorite brand/flavor being the Tea Pigs Liquorice and Peppermint tea. It has a delightfully sweet flavor without having to add anything to it, like honey. 

Bottom Line: After the first two days, it's gotten easier. I've found some foods to eat, I'm feeling more full (probably because I'm not consuming so many empty calories), and it's encouraging to see the scale going down, rather than up. Week #1 in the books...here's to a healthy and successful Week #2!

Sugar LESS

Happy New Year! I initially thought about titling this post, "Sugar-FREE in '23" but I'm just not that corny, plus it's not entirely factual. I'm not planning to go totally off of sugar, except for the month of January (more on that in a minute), so it's more about consuming less sugar in the coming year, in all its various forms. 

Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

I've seen numbers quoted by various sources in the U.S. that claim the average American eats 42.5 teaspoons of sugar every day. That's a lot of sugar! From sugary drinks to candy to donuts to the added sugars in condiments and even the fake sugar in "sugar-free" products, we consume far more than is good for us or our bodies. 

I'm far from being a health nut. But as I have been re-reading the Little House series of books to my kids, I have been struck once again by the fact that the only candy consumed by the Ingalls girls were the small bags of a few pieces (or one stick) found in a stocking on Christmas, or the occasional maple syrup candy made when it snowed. Otherwise, sugar was saved for the tea when company came, and honey was a treat when a hive was found. That's a far cry from our sugar-saturated lives of the 21st century.

This Christmas I was noticing the number of times I popped a candy in my mouth, sipped on a Diet Coke, or made an excuse to stop by our local Mennonite doughnut truck. Stockings were filled with sugary delights, and the month was doubly saturated as I drove around town collecting my free birthday cake slice, personal pie, and Venti coffee drink of my choice. On Christmas day, as I sat at my parent's house feeling absolutely stuffed, I uttered a sigh of frustration and shot off a text to a couple of friends, asking why I had so little (essentially none at all) self-control when it came to what I stuffed in my mouth. 

A day or two later, I jokingly said to a friend, "I'm thinking about doing a sugar fast for the month of January...I will if you will!" And when she wrote back and said, "How serious are you?" I immediately knew it was time. Time to break some sugary holds, cleanse the palate, and practice what I preach to my kids - namely, "have some self-control why don't you??" 

So, here's my public announcement, and my declaration of intent: For the month of January - 31 days - I will be avoiding (as much as possible) obvious sources of sugar. This includes candy, sugary coffee and coffee ingredients (which means I'm drinking tea all month because I hate black coffee!), desserts, sugar-laden sauces, etc. I'll also be steering clear of white bread (which will be a real challenge as I have been making homemade bread in our bread machine several times a week for the family), white rice, and pasta. I'll be checking labels, and plan to substitute my water "add-ins" (which contain sugar substitutes) with plain ol' fizzy water, just to give it a little kick. 

This should be in addition to some of my other "small victory" goals for the year, including walking (or moving) more, and while continuing the intermittent fasting that I've been doing for the last month. I'm both nervous and excited to see how this goes, and hopeful that I can report back in a month with a positive outcome. Here goes nothing...

Two Pound Goals

This might sound a little weird to some, but while running errands recently, it suddenly hit me that it felt like I was walking around in someone else's body. For the first 30 years of my life, I was on the slim side of the scale, but the last decade has been a rollercoaster of weight loss and weight gain, each time creeping a bit higher. 

Photo by Samuel Ramos on Unsplash

COVID was unkind to all of us, but it also led to some undesirable side effects, such as a more sedentary lifestyle, emotional snacking, and subsequent weight gain. Hitting 40 during that time period didn't help either. I've tried intermittent fasting, nightly walking, and calorie counting, but not consistently, and as a result the pounds continued to pack on. 

Winter means bundling up in layers and digging out coats and gloves. The clothes that I've always had and felt comfortable in because they hid more...no longer hide it. Trousers are tight, coat sleeves feel constricting, and you can forget all about zipping up any of my old wool skirts. Not happening. Even my boots no longer fit, thanks to weight gain in my calves. I mean, really? REALLY?? Let's just add insult to injury. 

And yet I can't seem to stop myself when it comes to sugary sweets. Buttered popcorn-flavored jellybeans from my kids for my birthday? GONE in a week. Late night cheese and cracker snacks, grabbing one or two of the fudge squares on the kitchen counter, and did I mention I broke out the ol' bread machine again? Danger, Will Robinson! I am aware that the biggest roadblock to my weight loss is me. I love food. I love the foods that for 30 years I could eat with relatively few consequences. I mean, bringing home a yummy snack for the Hubs and me to enjoy after the kids are in bed seems like a fair exchange for being grounded as parents. But I don't like the tradeoff. 

While driving around in my car, I could feel the roll over my seatbelt. I could feel the way my gorgeous green wool coat was tight across my arms and chest. I was aware of the fact that just before getting in the car I had consumed a rather large handful of the Tootsie Rolls that the kids had included with my birthday jellybeans. And I knew that making choices like that was what led to me feeling like a stranger in my own body. 

I've passed the magic 40 mark...I know it doesn't get easier from here. And I also know that if I don't start making some changes in my eating and exercise habits, next year at this time I'm going to be sitting here...weighing 20 lbs. more than I do now. And I'm not okay with that. 

So when thinking about my "small victories" for 2023, I decided to aim low. Rather than saying, "I want to do what it takes to lose 40 lbs. in 2023," I'm focusing on just 2 pounds a month. That's 1/2 a pound a week. A tiny little 0.5 on the scale that I so carefully avoid in our closet. It's the difference between eating one Tootsie Roll and eating 20 of them. It's focusing on moderation rather than deprivation. It means asking the Hubs to put in an electrical outlet for the treadmill that was recently relocated...and then actually using it again. Learning to apply self-discipline and not just preach it. Ouch. 

January is coming. Goals are being set. But February is also coming. Goals are being excused and abandoned. And March is right around the corner, along with all those regrets over failed resolutions. Which is why I want to focus on the small victories this year. At this point in my life, I would be absolutely thrilled if I lost 2 lbs. in January and kept them off. I'd be over the moon if, by the end of February, I was consistently down 4 lbs. And 6 lbs. by March? Yes, please! So small goals and small victories in 2023. Who's with me?

Small Victories

In years past, I have set goals. I have picked words. I have started strong. And I have fallen off the wagon somewhere around March or April. And it is for this very reason that this year, I'm focusing more on the small victories. The things that sound small on paper or in a blog post, but I know would actually make my daily life better. It's not about running the marathon, it's about taking the first step.

Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

And so here I am, working on blog post #13 of 2022. I aimed for twelve this year, and at the beginning of the month, I had only written eight. But then I decided I needed to work on making the time I had work for me. I needed to fight the urge to kill time after a long day and instead use it to pour into something I used to really enjoy doing...writing. And suddenly, using the same amount of time I had before, I have written five blog posts, found images, and hit "publish," bringing life back to a part of me that has been dormant. It's a small victory. 

And what about those other small victories? Well, here's a quick list of what I'm aiming for in 2023:

• Lose 2 lbs. a month
• Read 1 book a month (for fun)
• Write 1 blog post a month
• Walk a minimum of 3 days a week
• Use up the tea stash (I *might* have a tea collection problem)
• Clean various areas of the house once a month
• Try "No Spend" weeks
• Instead of hitting "buy now" from Amazon, put the same amount in savings daily/weekly

Make Your Own Time

Wouldn't it be amazing if we could create time for the things we enjoy? My own personal preference is reading, but it wouldn't have to be. For you, it might be doing something crafty, like painting or knitting or hand-lettering, like my friend Elizabeth. Or it could be getting outside to work in a garden, pulling weeds in your yard, taking a walk around the block, or hiking the nearest mountain trail. Maybe you'd love to get together with friends a little more often over coffee or lunch, or perhaps you've always wanted to go back to school to finish that degree you put off two decades ago. Any one of these things could easily be written off as something you don't have time for...but if you were honest with yourself, is that really true? 

Photo by Sonja Langford on Unsplash

This is the question I've been asking myself recently, as I've been taking a look at the things I accomplished over the past 12 months, and the things I let slide. It's been a busy year, filled with things I planned for, and things I didn't see coming. Much of my time has been taken up with caregiving, moving, counseling, teaching, and occasionally trying to have a conversation with the Hubs that's deeper than the "highlight reel" of the day. So yes, much time...but not all. 

Despite having my hands full with freelance work, homeschooling four kids, two aging parents who downsized this year, and launching the first adult child out into the world, I still had time to waste, and waste it I did...if I'm really being honest. 

For one thing, I finally gave in and opened an Instagram account this year. A few weeks ago I had this sense that I was spending a lot more time on there than I would like to admit to myself. So I put a timer on it, allowing a certain number of minutes a day that count down from midnight. I freely admit that I was shocked at the number, and how quickly the time frittered away. I originally gave myself 2 hours a day, thinking that would be way too much time. But after a couple of days of getting close to that mark, I moved it back to 90 minutes, and then 60 minutes. As is often the case, just making myself aware of it helped curb the temptation to click on the app, unless I had something I actually wanted to post. But it also got me thinking...we make time for so much in our busy days, but are we really making time for the best stuff? The stuff that feeds our hearts, souls, and minds. 

Case in point...prior to June, when I opened my account, I wasn't spending 120 minutes a day scrolling through a feed or watching silly little videos of guinea pigs and puppies. So what was I doing with those 2 hours of time in a day? Honestly? I was watching YouTubers live their lives on camera, documenting their travel plans or explaining minimalism. When school was done for the day, I would escape to our bedroom and sit down at the computer. After first scrolling through Facebook, I would turn to YouTube and lose myself (and an hour or more of my time) in the lives of other people and their quest for the perfect wedding dress, house, or airport lounge. The next thing I knew, I would look at the clock and realize it was 6 PM and I hadn't done anything for dinner. Two hours gone, and absolutely nothing to show for it. 

In years past I have tracked 70+ books a year on Goodreads. Hours of reading, learning, and losing myself in words on a page. This year, the number was significantly lower at just 22. I was surprised at the lower number and originally chalked it up to being low on time due to the craziness of the year. But when I started taking an honest inventory of how I was spending my time, I knew it was more than that. And I knew that my time was going where I told it to go...which just wasn't to the best of places. 

So...

• I haven't closed my Instagram account, but I've lowered my own time limit. 
• I haven't stopped watching some of my favorite YouTubers, but I have unsubscribed from several channels and accounts that no longer felt as important as the time I have been giving up to them and their notifications. 
• I haven't found a way to add more hours to the day, but I am finding better ways to use the time in my day. 

January (Book Talk and Whole House Purge Update)

Here we are - the first month of 2022! And...it's the first post of the 12 (minimum) I've committed to writing this year. If you're short on time or there is too much, here's the "let me sum up" version:

BOOKS: Last year my one goal was to clean off/read through "The Stack" on my nightstand, but, despite reading 72 books in 2021, only a sliver of them came from The Stack, while the rest were re-reads, read aloud to the kids, or Kindle ebooks. I give myself grace with that though, and it just means that I will continue to give updates from The Stack this year as I work towards my 2022 Goodreads goal of 75 books! So far I've read (or re-read) A New Song (5 Stars), Mary Poppins in the Park (4 Stars), The Four-Story Mistake (4 Stars), and A Common Life: The Wedding Story (4.5 stars)...none of which came from The Stack. 😉

PURGE: If you've been following the Facebook page, then you've seen or read about our first two weeks of donation hauls heading out. I'm definitely meeting (and exceeding) my goal of 12 items a day. So far the most surprising purge has been the day I wore some Supergas that I just loved (so cute) and had worn for four years or so, but with recent back and foot pain (hello 40!), the heels of my feet were killing me by the end of the day, and so I came in, took them off, and put them straight into the donation bag. I am past the point in my life where I will sacrifice for cute shoes - especially when they're tennis shoes that are supposed to be comfortable. 

Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

And now, for the "too much" version! Hello to those of you who want the full scoop on the purge. Let's dive right in! 

First off, can I just say that I cannot believe we are already halfway through the first month of 2022?? That's incredible to me. It also means that I need to get my rear in gear to get everyone through the second half of this school year, which means more lesson planning, more book reports, and more moments of panic when I realize how much remains. That being said, while the year was off to a challenging start, literally from minute #1 (long story, don't ask), it's also been a productive two weeks when it comes to the whole house purge.

I stopped counting how many items I was donating shortly after going through a kitchen cabinet early on and coming up with 75 items in one swipe. Needless to say, our home is just (embarrassingly) overly stuffed, and I'm tired of being overwhelmed by it. The plan was to work room by room, with an occasional pass through a cabinet or drawer if I happen to be there anyway, so I've pretty much been stuck in our bedroom for most of the month. And yes, I know it might be shocking to think that I could spend so much time in one room, but with seven people (five of them under the age of 17) in a 2,000 sq. ft. house, our bedroom (along with the laundry room) tends to become the catch-all for all the things that have no home, like medication for a hamster and broken doorstops. 

Some of the tips, tricks, and questions I've been using this time through include:

• Touch it once. If I'm walking out of the room and I see something that has been sitting there for ages, do something with it - take it where it needs to go, throw it away, file it, or stick it in the donation bag. 
• Give honest answers. I'm routinely asking myself now: 
• Do I use/wear it?
• When was the last time I used/wore it?
• If I didn't have it, would I miss it?
• Do I need it or just like it?
• If I like it, would I miss it if it were gone?
• Go with your gut. If I look at something and think, "that should go," don't second guess myself. I'm probably being more honest than if I took a lot of time to decide.
• Using black bags. This is something I heard the Minimal Mom say, and it makes sense. If you use black trashbags, you can't see what's inside...once it's entered the portal, it's gone. This worked really well for the kids.
• Donate quickly. I used to keep piles of donations in the basement or by the backdoor, like purgatory, just waiting to be donated. Instead, they just languished there for months (or sometimes years), collecting dust. This time, as soon as a bag or box is full, I put it in the back of my car. When the back is full (or once a week, whichever comes first), I drive to Goodwill and drop it off, which leaves little time for second guessing a donation.

If you're wondering what kind of things I'm ridding myself of, it's everything from pajamas I haven't worn in years (and probably never will again) to socks that I was keeping because the color is hard to find now (but I never wear, because the pants they matched no longer fit!). It's cute plates for various holidays that I've held onto so we could use them with the kids, only to realize that my life is too busy for cute plates and we use paper plates for the holidays. And Easter decorations, when I realized I don't like celebrating Easter with eggs and bunnies, because it means far more to me than that. It's movies I no longer find appropriate (or find time to watch), books I'll never read again, and returns I never got around to making. In short, nothing is safe. 

I'm happy with the progress, and, in full disclosure, don't expect the cleanout to be done by January 31st, but that's okay. The 12 in 22 Project, specifically the 12 items a day during this month, was the kick in the pants I needed to be a little more honest with myself, a little harder on the kids to purge, and a little less attached to the stuff that has been slowing taking over our home. And it feels good.

2022 started with a bang, and it feels like life has continued to throw one thing after another at us in the first 14 days of this year. From teenage drama to late night visits to not one, but two urgent care centers with two different family members - I told you it was crazy - having this steadiness of cleaning out has been therapeutic in many ways. I can't control much in this life (really nothing at all), but I can put things in a bag and make them go away, and some days that's just enough. 

What are you learning in 2022?

The Twelve in 2022

It started when I saw a post from Jules at Pancakes & French Fries, about her goal of writing 12 blog posts this year. As soon as I read it I thought, "That's just one post a month. That's totally doable. I'm in." But what started as the number of posts I was willing to commit to writing in 2022, soon morphed into a monthly self-challenge plan, with various ideas coming in rapid succession. I don't know about you, but I need deadlines and bite-sized goals to motivate myself. 

Photo by Thor Alvis on Unsplash

WINTER 2022

January: Removing 12 items a day from our house in the Great Whole-House Purge of 2022. The twelve would not include trash, because I think that's cheating...I could throw away twelve items of junk mail in a day and call it good, but that wouldn't actually get me where I want to be! So we're talking actual removal of gently used/unused items (to a box, bag, or sack) for donation, with trips to our local Goodwill on the calendar once a week (look for updates throughout the month on the Facebook page). 

February: I will move $12 from our checking to our savings every day for a month. Two drinks at Starbucks is almost $12, depending on the size you get, so if I cut out Starbucks and various treats and unplanned stops in a month, that should be completely doable. 

March: I will dedicate 12 minutes each day to cleaning out and organizing our pantry and additional food storage area. Timer in hand, trash bags at the ready, I would love to think that I'll be done with this in a week, but I've seen my pantry. Photos and updates will be posted to the Facebook page, for accountability. 

SPRING/SUMMER 2022

April: The number of books I'll aim to read in one month. It seems like a lot, considering the hecticness of my life, between working freelance and homeschooling, plus running kids to their various activities, but since I set a higher reading goal for myself in 2021, and exceeded it, why not aim higher still? Follow me on Goodreads for regular updates on this.

May: 12 minutes a day, five days a week, spent on lesson planning for the 22/23 school year. I have struggled with staying on top of lesson planning this year, having tried something new (which didn't work), so I'd like to get a jump start on the next school year, even as this one winds up.

June/July/August: The number of pounds I'd like to shed, healthily, this summer. I'll give myself three months for this one. That means cutting back on my snacks and finding a way to get active again. The last two years have not been good to me, or my waistline, and the time has come (the time being me turning 40 and my pants no longer fitting). 

FALL 2022 - TBD

I've yet to decide what 12-themed things I might focus on for the remaining months of the year, but I'm okay with that because if the last two years have taught us anything, it's that we have no idea what the future holds. By this time in the year, we could all be rolling around in giant plastic bubbles, or building bunkers to survive WWIII, or fighting off the next superbug that's taking over the world. After all, as James 4:13-15 reminds us...

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

If it's the Lord's will, I'll be back with my first post of the year next month. I hope to see you here, and in the meantime, I'd love to hear what your goal is for the first month of 2022 and/or for the entire year. 

Would you consider doing something like the 12-themed goals? If you're interested, I'd love the company and accountability on the journey. Join the conversation over on the Busy Nothings Facebook page, or chime in here in the comments. Are you ready?

Let's make 2022 the year that we "spur one another on" - to love, good deeds, and personal growth, 12 things at a time! 

Today's The Day

What have you been putting off doing? Procrastination is a universal habit, you know. It doesn't matter what your culture, country, political affiliation, or views on religion, because there's always something that you can put off until tomorrow...and usually do. For me, it's been dealing with our spending habits. And more specifically, my spending habits. But for the next 28 days, I'm forcing myself to focus on where the money goes and pay attention to how often I find myself on Amazon, ready to hit the "buy now" button. 

Photo by rupixen.com on Unsplash

Let me be clear, we have money in the bank, never carry a credit card balance, our cars are paid for, and we're actively paying off our home mortgage ahead of schedule, so I'm not doing this because I need to dig my way out of a financial pit. I'm doing it because I know I could do better. I know how easy that Amazon app is when something comes to mind that we need. And sometimes it is a need - most recently it was socks for one of the kids, because the ones she has are literally two sizes too small - but not always. Books are my nemesis, and the offer of free credit for Kindle purchases can be quite appealing. Come on, Bookworms, you know exactly what I'm talking about! 

I also know how easy it is to find an excuse to pick up dinner on the way home. I forgot to thaw the meat...I forgot to put something in the Crock-Pot...I don't feel like making dinner tonight...we're in town anyway, so I'm just going to pick up something from our favorite Thai spot... you get the idea. When it was just the two of us, those meals out were a little more excusable...and less expensive. But with a family of seven, most of whom are still actively growing and therefore hungry, a dinner out (even takeout) can be upwards of $80 or more. That's nothing to sneeze at! 

As I mentioned in my post last week, I made the decision not to give up my Starbucks stops this month...but I'm even reconsidering that as I think about those $5 and $10 stop-offs and how quickly they add up. My Starbucks card is on automatic reload, which makes it so easy to stop by and not think about the dollar amount racking up. For one month, couldn't I plan ahead and bring my hot tea or coffee with me from home while I'm sitting in the car, waiting on kids, reading a book from the stack? Lest you think I'm a Starbucks junkie who is there every day, we're talking maybe once a week...but once a week would add up to $20-30 a month, or more, depending on whether I was just buying for myself or if I decided to treat the kids to a hot chocolate or our oldest to her favorite beverage or grab a coffee for the Hubs, just because. 

But it's not just about money. As I said in the beginning, procrastination is universal. I have several habits that I'm trying to solidify at the moment, that really require nothing more than self-discipline and the determination not to give up. From faithfully using the lotions and potions for the rosacea that I'd given up doing anything about, to refusing to allow myself access to the computer until my quiet time with the Lord is done (and not rushed), and even to getting back into the habit of blogging, I'm finding that it's all about not allowing myself to make excuses. If I want something to happen, then I just need to do it. And so do you. 

So today's the day. It's time to start doing whatever it is that you've been putting off, whether it's related to money or weight loss or some other discipline. Come along with me for the next month and let's see what we can accomplish together!  

The Importance of Getting Outside

I've always been proud of the way that I throw my kids outside on a regular basis, to play, ride bikes, or climb trees. We live on a half-acre in the middle of our small town, so they have room to run and yell and get out all their energy (sorry, neighbors...raising them like it's the 1980's!). But I've recently been reading a book that has challenged my view about how and when I encourage the kids to go outside, and I realized that the words, "It's too cold," or "It's been raining," have come out of my mouth a little too often. As the title of the book suggests, There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather... you just don't have the right clothes. 

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

The book, written by a Scandinavian mom who now calls the American midwest home, outlines how the Scandinavian parenting view of outdoor time differs wildly from the protective, safety first mentality that is so prevalent in the United States. When she parked her baby pram outside the backdoor for her girls to enjoy their naps in the fresh air, her neighbors thought she was insane. When she took her kids to a state park to allow them to swim in the stream, she received a ticket for leaving the marked trails. But when she returned to Sweden with her girls for a six-month stay while her dad dealt with health issues, she was reminded of the freedoms that she enjoyed as a child, and had to relearn the art of letting go and allowing her children to experience life - in all it's dangerous glory. 

From birthday parties in the snow to rainy day walks and letting her kids go to the park down the street on their own, McGurk shares how giving children these types of freedoms is not only good for their mental and physical health, but it allows them to develop independence and learn from their mistakes. In general, the book is a strange dichotomy of liberal thinking (think: save the planet) and the rugged individualism that used to be so prevalent in the U.S., but has given way to the cry of "safety above all else!" And it made me seriously rethink the ways in which I viewed outdoor play and encouraged independence and problem solving in my little brood. Which is why I found myself on Amazon, ordering rain boots last week.

When the boots arrived, I brought them out one at a time for the kids to try on. After the fourth one received his pair, I told them that the reason I purchased them was so they would be able to go out and play in the rain and mud and it wouldn't matter. By the squeals and yells of excitement, one would have thought they were headed to Disney World. Who would have thought that rain boots and permission to go out and get dirty would be that exciting? Except...that's exactly the way I grew up...and nothing was more exciting to me than a day spent outside in the rain. And nothing was more cozy than coming inside from that rain, to dry off and warm up in a blanket, with a mug of hot cocoa. And so the tradition continues...

Do you have any rainy day memories?

Habitual Goals

I've written plenty of posts about setting goals in the past. I've chosen words for the year...only to forget about them come March or April. I've picked specific things to work on....and then not followed through. I've blogged about my successes...and my failures. For several years in January, I've suggested that this will be the year that I finally start blogging again on a regular basis...and then that's the last you've heard of me.

So what am I doing this year? Why am I back, writing yet another January post with the word "goal" in the title? Well, grab a mug of something warm and pull up a chair. Let's chat!

First, let's talk about what worked in 2019. As I've shared on my Busy Nothings Facebook page, 2019 was the year that I consistently tracked my calories and walked for 20 minutes a day in my little "walking lot" around the corner from the kid's school. This was a success...right up until the week before Christmas, when the Hubs came down with the crud that kept him home all week, and derailed my walking schedule as I single-parented our five. This was followed by the Christmas break, then the crud taking me out for a week, and the usual post-holiday sludge as we all try to get back into the groove of work and school after time off. Needless to say, walking hasn't made it back onto my daily schedule yet in 2020, but it will.

Tracking my calories was also something I was super consistent about...right up until the holidays. I don't want to say that I gave up, as I was still very mindful about what I was eating and the days that I was eating more than I normally did, but I no longer tracked my meals as faithfully as I had been doing prior to the Christmas season. Like walking, it's something I intend to restart this month, but it didn't happen this week. 

With the change in schools for two of our girls, I ended up spending about 3 hours of my day in the car starting in August, which limited the amount of time I had free for paid work. However, what I discovered was that the outside limitations caused me to focus more during the time that I did have. I was even able to say "yes" to more flexible freelance work, create new opportunities for the future, and extend the range of my skill set.

Another thing that I focused on in 2019 was reading more. As I've done in years past, I used Goodreads to set my goal of 52 books, and track my progress. I consciously made choices to use the dead time in my day (sitting in car line, sitting at taekwondo, sitting at the doctor's office, waiting for dinner to cook, etc.) to work toward that goal, and by December 31, 2019, I'd read 59 books. Some of them were totally new-to-me books, others were comfort re-reads, and quite a number were children's books that I either read to the kids, or read to myself before I recommended them to the kids. Needless to say, my Goodreads shelf this year looked a little different than it did in 2012! 

One of the things I took away from 2019 was that it's good to have goals, but it's better to create habits. I've set goals before for weight loss or sticking to a diet, reading a certain number of books or focusing more on my work, but history shows that my lofty goals tend to end up lost somewhere around February. This last year I dropped the word "goal" from my planning and instead decided to make changes. Instead of setting a goal to walk 5 days a week, I drove the car to the parking lot - even on the days I didn't feel like it - and got out and walked 20 minutes, rain or shine. Eventually, turning left out of the kid's school, rather than right, became a habit. Setting my timer for 20 minutes and walking laps around the lot became a habit...and the weight that I wanted to lose, began to come off. 

I put a goal weight in my Lose It! app, but it was just something to aim for...my main priority was becoming healthy, and over the course of the year, my mindset changed to match my habits. Before, I would have stopped at Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks without even thinking about it. Mindless calories, which went to my thighs and never crossed my mind when I wondered where the weight came from, because I "wasn't really eating that much." These days, before I eat anything, I consider whether it's worth it, whether I have room for the calories, and what I will say "no" to if I say "yes" to the food or drink before me. It's not a goal, it's a choice. It's an action.

So what will 2020 look like for me? Do I have goals for this year? Well, sure. I think it's perfectly natural to set goals, even if it's unconsciously. For example, I would still like to shed around ten more pounds, but if that doesn't happen I'm not going to wallow in guilt about it, because my main priority is to continue my habits of making wise choices about what goes in my mouth. With my shorter working days, there are weeks when work has to take precedence over walking, so if that means that there's a week when I only get out to the parking lot one day instead of four or five, I'm not going to beat myself up over that, because that's still 20 minutes of movement. It doesn't mean I've given up, it just means that I had to prioritize different things that week. Goals can be forgotten, but habits keep you coming back to them, even when you have an off week. 

It's a goal this year to read at least 52 books again. But it's become a habit to keep a book in my purse, and that habit is what allows me to actively work towards that goal...with very little effort at all. It's a goal to be a good steward of the time available to me for work. It's a habit to start my day by checking what's on my to do list and figuring out what needs more brain power (so earlier in the day tasks) and what takes less (later in the day tasks). It's a goal to pad our savings account so when those rainy day events happen, we're not scrambling to figure out how to pay for them. It's a habit to automatically transfer a set amount of money each month into that account, and then live within our means with what's left. 

Do you see where I'm going with this? Habits can be good or bad, but the way I'm looking at it this year is that the positive habits that I started developing in 2019 are just my goals in action. Goals are just words on paper, but habits only occur because you're actively doing something. 

Over the next 12 months I would like to see my work habits continue to develop, becoming more creative with the time that I have so that I will be able to do more (which, in turn, helps fund things like taekwondo, which means I will have that down time for reading to reach my goal...one positive habit affecting another). I've toyed with the idea of trying to run this year. I have a 9 year old who would love it if I would run with her, but I've never been a runner. It scares me. Maybe this is the year...or maybe I'll pull out my bike again and ride alongside her...or maybe she'll run while I walk. Whatever happens, I want 2020 to be the year I challenge myself more. What about you?

Never Give Up

Habits - whether it's blogging regularly (oops), keeping the kitchen clean, exercising daily, or something else - are only habits as long as you do them.

Christmas knocked me off my walking game, then there were cold, snowy days, cancelled school days, and days when I just didn't feel like doing it - so I didn't. But that doesn't mean I should give up! Yesterday it was sunny and warmer, so I walked. Today it was warmer but drizzling rain, so I grabbed the umbrella and walked! I still have about 10 lbs. that I'd like to lose, but if I want that to happen, I have to be consistent in my movement and eating habits. The weight doesn't just magically melt off (just as my kitchen doesn't magically clean itself, nor do my clothes jump in the washing machine and present themselves, folded KonMari-style, in my drawer) - it all takes WORK and SELF-DISCIPLINE.

Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

Far too often we fall into the trap of thinking that what we want should come easily. Obedient kids should happen naturally rather than requiring consistent parenting and boundaries. Money should be in the savings account without needing to work more or buy less. Pants should feel looser without giving up Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Well, bad news for us - it all takes work. It all requires us to die to self in some way, setting aside preconceived notions, assumptions, and expectations. We have to be the parent, whether we feel like the adult or not. We have to set up the automatic transfer to savings and avoid Amazon if we want to see that balance grow. And we have to make a choice in what we eat and how we spend our time because there is no magic, side-affect-free pill to make us as skinny as we were twenty years ago.

It's time we learn how to avoid the "quick fix" mentality and develop our Fruits a little bit more (you know the ones: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). When the kids get under my skin, I'm praying for more love and patience as I dive in to figure out what's going on with them that's causing them to act out. As we set financial goals for our year, I'm making the choice to avoid certain stores and shop grocery sales and leave my wants in the Amazon cart. And if I want to see that goal number on the scale, then I must choose to do more of what I did this morning, rain or shine.

Learning to Live Healthy

I weighed 95 lbs. when we got married (and I was 18 years old). Three years later, my final semester of college, I had to take a College Algebra class in order to graduate. Not passing it would have meant that I needed to take three additional math classes (so three additional semesters of college). I was stressed to the max (hey, I was an English major for a reason!), and spent the summer semester crying over my class, begging my teacher for mercy (which she gave in abundance - bless her!), and eating a large bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream every.single.day. I passed the class (which allowed me to graduate that August), but my clothes no longer fit. Although I never saw a number below 100 again on the scale, when I stopped shoveling ice cream into my mouth every day, my metabolism settled down and I got used to my new normal weight (still small, just not as small as I had been).

Over the next few years, the Hubs and I traveled the world, working with humanitarian aid organizations in Africa and southeast Asia. My weight stayed pretty even (around 108-110 lbs. - still super healthy for my 5'2.5" frame), thanks in part to the amoebas that we picked up everywhere we went and the stomach issues that went along with that. But when we returned to the U.S. in December 2008 and the Hubs went back to a 8-5 job, I was home alone with no job and a lot of time on my hands, and the numbers on the scale started moving up. Within two years, I crossed the 130 lb. threshold and was freaking out. To those out there (my current self included) who wish we could see 130 on the scale, let me share this insight: when you've lived your life to that point wearing size 0 and 2 (without trying), it's a shock. 

In 2010, the Hubs and I went on the South Beach Diet and I lost 25 lbs. and he lost more than 50. We felt better than we had in years, though a little foggy headed (the result, we later learned, of completely cutting out carbs - who knew your brain needed bread?!), and settled into the lifestyle of removing rice, bread, and sugars from our meals, whether we were eating out or at home. I blogged about it here, and was so pleased when I could fit back into my favorite skirt again. Life was good...but not sustainable, as we learned when I finally got a (stressful) job as a pharmacy tech in 2011 and home cooked meals were replaced with fast food options. 

In 2012 we both changed jobs, which allowed me to work from home, and I also developed an interest in cooking. Great for our taste buds, but since my inspiration was Julia Child and her love of butter, the weight began to creep back on as the South Beach Diet was forgotten. And then there was the (stress of the) adoption that God called us to. By the time we traveled to Central America in 2016 to bring the kids home, we were both at our highest weights. During our first 8 weeks with the kids, I lost over 15 lbs. (from stress) and the Hubs lost about 25. While the weight loss was an awesome boost during a very rough period of time, again, it wasn't sustainable. Once the stress-level went down, the weight returned...and more. 

In mid-September of 2018, I stepped on the scale and discovered that I was at my highest weight ever, and had crossed a line I never thought I would see. When the kids came, we lost our exercise room to storage, so using the treadmill was no longer an option. I wasn't sure what to do, but I sent a text to my prayer group and told them that I needed HELP! As it turns out, the three awesome ladies in my group (plus a couple of other friends who I regularly text with) were all in the same boat and decided to get on board and start holding each other accountable. One of my friends suggested trying it for 21 days, because she'd read that it took 21 days to make a habit. We each shared what we would be specifically working on, and the next day, I stopped in a parking lot close to the kid's school and started walking. I walked that day. And the next. And the next. More and more days I chose to turn into the parking lot, even when I didn't feel like it. It was only 20 minutes, I told myself, and somehow that made it doable. Day after day after day.

Before I knew it, 21 days had passed and walking was a habit. I actually found myself missing it on the days when something stopped me. I walked in heat and humidity, in rain and cold, in blustery winds and on perfect autumn days. I joked that I was turning into the post office of walkers! At first I saw no difference on the scale, but then one day I noticed that the waistband on my pants wasn't quite so tight, and with some hesitation, I stepped on the scale in our closet and was thrilled to see the number had dropped by two pounds. What made me happiest of all was that it really didn't feel like work. Even when our treadmills were actively in use, it felt like a chore. I had to put on my exercise clothes, I needed to select something to watch, I needed to go fast in order for it to count. As it turns out, all I really needed to do was just move. I don't walk fast, I don't dress for it - shoot, most days you'll find me walking in some kind of dress oxfords and pearls! But it's working for me.  

Since that time I've been faithfully counting calories (using the awesome and FREE app, Lose It - available on the Google app store) and walking an average of four days a week. To date, including two notoriously bad food holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas), I have lost 14 lbs, and I'm still pressing on. I feel better, have more energy, and don't feel like I've had to give up any of my favorite foods. I'm finally at a point in my life where I recognize that diets aren't sustainable, but moderation is. I don't fix separate meals for me while the rest of the family eats, I just eat less of what they're having. I've plateaued again, but I'm not stopping. And even if this is where I land, it's still healthier, my pants fit again, and I know I'm better off than I was before. Win-win-win.

SIDE NOTE: Not all bodies are created equal. I don't want this to sound overly-simplified. Despite what you might think ("this skinny gal has no idea!"), I'm married to a man who has fought his large Dutch genes his whole life. These days (as he counts his calories along with me), he often says that the only thing that's changed is that he's now counting the calories that he eats while weighing the same. It's frustrating to me (on his behalf) to see how little he eats and to know he's paying attention and yet seeing no downward movement on the scale. He's spent the majority of his adult life actively battling his weight. In some instances, genes seem stronger than willpower. But to quote Galaxy Quest, "Never give up, never surrender!"